The New Metro in BXL

The New Metro Makes Brussels Move

“Le Nouveau Metro Fait Bouger Bruxelles”. That’s the French version. I would have translated it as ‘the new metro is going to make Brussels move’, but English grammar aside it’s a very exciting time. It’s all change on the metro, starting the 4th of April.

Do you ever notice how, whenever there’s a story in the news about something changing at a railway station or on the metro the headline is ‘All Change’? It’s one of the most overused puns of all time. Anyway.

Currently the metro runs from northwest to southeast (line 1A), southwest to northeast (1B) and in a circle around the city centre (2). Without adding any new stations STIB have managed to turn three lines into four. It’s classic Belgium: the illusion of expansion while not actually expanding at all.

I shouldn’t say that. The circle line will be served by two lines instead of one, and West Station has been completely renovated. And, er, the lines are all different colours. Oh, and they’ve changed the live information boards that tell you were all the metros are and how soon one will arrive. It’s thrilling stuff.

Cynicism aside, and as someone who takes at least two return journeys in it a day, I can say that the metro in Brussels is very clean and reliable.

But while we’re on the subject…

Eternal Mysteries Part One – The Automatic Escalators

On any given day in Brussels there must be at least three stations in which the automatic escalators are not working. It’s a never ending puzzle that puts food on the table of a handful of Belgian mechanics, who are either very incompetent or very crafty.

Montgomery and Merode both had escalators out of action today. On one set in Montgomery they’ve completely gutted the whole structure, such is the depth of the problem. That wasn’t too much of a problem. It’s only a short distance from station level to the metro, and in any case it was going down.

In Merode, however, it was going up, and having to ascend the escalator in Merode on a Friday afternoon reminds me of that scene in Kill Bill Vol. 2 when Uma Thurman has to walk up that enormous staircase carrying two buckets of water, only to be greeted by a geriatric kung-fu master who nearly breaks her arm.

Eternal Mysteries Part Two – The Laws of Motion on the Metro

It’s this simple: when the metro accelerates out of a station there is an increase in G-force, and if you’re not holding onto something that force will cause you to stagger backwards like an urban clown.