FC Irlande - Matchday 7

FC Irlande 4 - 1 Jefke

"Hello there and welcome to this matchday seven ABSSA clash between 2009 champions Jefke and the always entertaining FC Irlande. I'm your commentator Mon Jotson. Irlande go into this match on the back of an unprecedented three-match losing streak. Moral is low, stress is high, there's talk of unrest in the dressing room and a cross-Channel slagging match. Captain Alec Elliot is under immense pressure to deliver, but is without the absent Dyrnes, Leleux and Rasmussen, who are all away hunting birds in one form or another.

"Jefke meanwhile have fared little better so far this season. After securing their first ABSSA title in May they have already lost three matches, but recently beat early title contenders Brussels British to show that there is still fire in the old dragon. A gripping encounter awaits."

First half

6th minute

"Jefke trying to work the ball out of defense here with Grainger in hot pursuit. Oh dear me! That was a late one from Grainger. The referee isn't happy, the Jefke players are livid. But the handsome striker escapes with just a talking-to. Another one like that and he'll be in the book."

20th minute

"Martin putting the Jefke defense under pressure and he's won the ball! Martin in a great position! Jehangir and Grainger wait in the box, here comes the cross! But it's just behind Grainger, he takes a touch, Jefke swarm, it's madness in there. Irlande are screaming for a penalty! They claim Jefke just sat on the ball like a goose on an egg, but the ref is having none of it, and the goalkeeper clears"

22nd minute

"Ball over the top from Cryans and Jehangir is onto it! He's ahead of his man! Real chance here... but the lob rolls just wide of the post! It was a cheeky effort from the new man. He claims his shirt was being pulled, but a goal kick is given."

25th minute

"Corner for Jefke on Irlande's right, in it comes, Jones goes to meet it but can't get there! And the header from six yards whistles over the bar. Jefke's number 6 holds his head in his hands. He knows he should have done better."

"Halftime here at the Estadio Nossegemo. It was a tight and tense first half as you'd expect, with neither side giving much away. Irlande had the better of the chances, but Jefke threatened with a number of dangerous corners. 0-0 at the break."

Second half

10th minute

"Now Cocoual, 40 yards from goal, Irlande looking to build here. Oh, and Cocoual's gone for it, Grainger is saying 'what the fuck are you doing you stupid French - ' Oh what a goal!!! Oh that's a magnificent goal! Didn't seem to be any danger, but the Frenchman launched that into the goal like a rocket, the keeper scrambled and fell and the ball is in the net. Irlande lead 1-0! Incredible!"

15th minute

"Chance here for Martin. The Spaniard is through on goal, out comes the keeper, and Martin's beaten him! But the ref's called it back. That's a let-off for Jefke, because Martin was about to tap into an empty goal. The keeper is down clutching is ankle. He's going to have to be replaced, but Jefke have used their only sub, and things are going from bad to worse for the champions."

20th minute

"Cocoual, to Martin, Grainger's made a run, here he is, he's through on goal, round the keeper... and into the empty net! Irlande double their lead, and the Englishman gets his second of the season."

23rd minute

"Throw-in from the new boy Dowd, to Cocoual, who's been everywhere for Irlande, he finds Grainger on the outside, perfect pass, Irlande stream forward here, Grainger on the right, two wait for the cross, Jehangir, with all the time in the world, strokes into an emtpy net! This is getting better and better for the Irish! 3-0 they lead! And the crowd are loving it."

27th minute

"Jefke haven't given up here, and if they get a goal now it might just unnerve Irlande slightly. Cross in from the right, Estievenart can't get there and the ball is in the back of the net! Jefke have got one back! Are we in for a frantic finale?"

31st minute

"Ball through from Martin, Grainger's onto it again, out comes the keeper, Grainger shows him a clean pair of heels, but what about the finish? There it is! Left foot, right foot - he doesn't care. The game is won, and Irlande will take all three points."

34th minute

"Now here's De Groote! It's the first time we've seen the Man U molester all season. Grainger's waiting for the cross, but it's just too short. Maybe the balding bandit should have gone himself, but there's the final whistle! It's a great day for Irlande - a resounding win and a performance to match."

FC Irlande: Chris, Adrian, Fred, Alec, Benoit (James), David, Mark, Iwan (Kieran), Charles, Axel, Ross

Goals: Charles, Ross (2), Axel

Man of the match: Charles - Terrorised the midfield and scored a memorable goal