FC Irlande - Matchday 9

FC Irlande 4 – 0 La Lorraine

As we pummeled La Lorraine with wave after wave of attacks towards the end of this match I almost, almost had a modicum of sympathy for last seasons’ runners-up. I admire La Lorraine for their footballing ability and their attitude. Nevertheless, we should have scored at least four more goals against the 9 opponents left on the pitch and sent an even more emphatic message to the rest of the league.

There was a good buzz in the dressing room and on the pitch during the warm up, and our very strong line-up battled well in the first half against a good side. They caused us some problems with their good passing and technique, and prior to our opening goal they had the best move of the match. They also forced several corners, but apart from that it was quite even. The goal came when Charles, fuelled by his endless supply of sultanas, drove forward and threaded a neat ball through to Sigve, who had found space thanks to my highly intelligent, Bergkamp-esque diversionary run. Through on goal, the big Norwegian fired high into the net with his left foot.

La Lorraine had already been forced into a change. As early as the second minute their right back went down injured and thus forced them to use their only sub. As against Jefke, their lack of numbers would be their undoing. Towards the end of the first half another player got injured, and so we went in at the break a goal up and a man up, and with three subs on the bench.

We took the initiative in the second half, and Sigve was quickly in the thick of it. Like a marauding sperm whale (a reference to his very white skin, not his abundant man juice) he beat a defender in the box and fired beyond the keeper to make it 2-0. We were flying.

His third was the pick of the bunch. We worked the ball brilliantly up field. Alvaro fed me from the left, I chested the ball into the path of Charles, and his shot rocketed off a defender. It would have been some goal, but our disappointment didn’t last long. We recycled the ball, David played in Sigve, and he forced a shot over the line. 3-0. In trying to block the shot one of their defenders collided with their goalie and had to go off. It was now 11 against 9.

Yann and I were replaced by Benoit and Mark, and the chances kept coming thick and fast. Alvaro missed a sitter, continuing his impressive record of never having scored for FC Irlande. Benoit and Charles also missed good chances, and even Cryans stormed into the sparsely defended box to try his luck. The fourth came from a Cryans free kick that was bizarrely kicked away by the hitherto impressive keeper. Four of us followed up the shot while La Lorraine stood watching. It fell to Sigve and he fired home for his and our fourth.

While it was easy going forward, La Lorraine didn’t give up in their search for a consolation. It took some stout defending from Alec and Adrian, as well as a superb close-range double save from Chris Jones to preserve only our second clean sheet of the season.

FC Irlande: Chris Jones, Adrian, Christian, Alec, James, David, Yann (Mark), Alvaro, Charles, Ross (Benoit), Sigve

Goals: Sigve (4)

Man of the match: There were many other impressive performances, but there was only going to be one winner. The Norwegian was back to his pillaging best. Pure Viking.